That Kinda Life
by churry
Summary: Kyle and the boys are in the 9th grade. But things aren't going well for Kyle. All his friends are busy: Cartman is running a prowar group, Kenny is a drug dealer, and Stan is chasing after Wendy. That would be fine if Kyle didn't want Stan for himself...
1. Backpacks

Kyle let out a groan when he saw the school bus pull away, letting out a puff of exhaust as it chugged along to South Park High School. Kyle was now in the 9th grade and should have known better than to be late, but it seemed as if the world and everyone in it was out to get him. For example, he had done his homework at 3:30 that morning as he had gradually turned into a full-fledged insomniac, so he had no idea how accurate it was. He couldn't take a shower as the water was scalding hot for some reason and shut off at random intervals, and of course he was utterly broke. Oh, his back was killing him too.

Kyle stood staring at his feet in their second hand boots ('We have to save money, Bubby!' his mother Sheila told him. No new clothes for him then, and Ike would be wearing the orange snowsuit and green hat that Kyle had worn in the 3rd grade.) Kyle grew increasingly pissed off, and took his backpack off and dumped it on the cement sidewalk. Kyle felt better, although he was suspicious of why his bag was so heavy in the first place.

'If that fat bastard Cartman put rocks in my bag again I swear to God I am gonna kill him.' Kyle thought with grim determination, as he knelt down on the ground and began unzipping his backpack.

He saw a tuft of dark hair, and something with beady eyes looked up at him before jumping out and screaming, "Cookie monster!"

Kyle, his nerves already weakened by the morning's events, let out a sharp cry and fell backwards on his ass. This hurt like hell and possible fractured it in several places, adding to the beauty of the day. Seriously, whose bright idea was it to put bones beneath your butt cheeks?

"Nice going, dude." Someone chuckled softly, and Kyle looked up to see bright blue eyes and a curious smirk upon his best friend, Stan Marsh's face.

Kyle was embarrassed but kept his cool. He didn't want to look stupid in front of _Stan._ Anything, even being tortured by Cartman was better than that. So he shrugged and grinned, before standing up.

"I was doing that for a science project. Checking reaction time of fear and all that," Kyle told him, while secretly looking him over and appreciating his thick and shiny raven hair. God, he was fine.

"Really," Stan said skeptically, before turning to look at the thing that jumped out of Kyle's bag and adding, "What's up, Ike?"

Ike was Kyle's adopted Canadian brother, and a super genius, although he was so random that Kyle suspected on occasion that he would grow up to be a terrorist or something like that. Ike hadn't grown at all since he was 3 years old, and he was now 8. However, his head seemed to be growing bigger and bigger, which was rather alarming.

"Star sandwiches," Ike declared solemnly, "are in my sombrero." Kyle stared dumbfounded at his little brother, before turning quickly to Stan.

"So, why are you late? Aren't you a morning person?" Kyle asked, while Ike was tugging on his jeans and blurting out something about the sunset and how grapes were connected with the FBI.

Stan grinned and cocked his head, a dimple showing up in his right cheek. "Nah, I'm always late. Why are you late? You're the teacher's pet." Stan teased, dodging a punch from Kyle.

"I am not," Kyle insisted, although he knew it was true. But what could he do about it? He was smart, he liked getting good grades, and it really pissed Cartman off when Kyle did well.

Stan raised his eyebrows as if to say you are so, and Kyle wanted to smack him right across his perfect face. Because he was mad, of course.

Just then, a rather hefty woman with red hair pulled into some kind of bee's hive hairdo thundered up the hill to the bus stop.

"Kyle, dear God, we've lost Ike! What if he went for a ride with the ice cream man again? Oh bubby what are we going to do?" The woman wailed as she ran up to Kyle and squished him to her bosom.

Stan snickered into his palm and Kyle glared at him. Although, his laugh was adorable and irresistible, Kyle had to at least pretend to be annoyed by it.

Sheila Broflovski continued wailing into Kyle's shoulder, and Kyle tried to tell her that Ike was right behind her playing with some rocks and used tissues, but she wouldn't listen to him in her hysteria.

"Mom, Ike is fine, he's right—" Kyle tried to say, but a fresh howl erupted from Sheila and interrupted him.

'Do something' Kyle mouthed to Stan. Stan seemed to get the message and was looking intently at him, which was making Kyle increasingly aroused, when Stan winked and turned away to stare at a tree, humming to himself.

"Rawrgh!" Kyle blurted out in his frustration. Just because Stan was hot and the perfect male in every way didn't mean that he could get away with acting like such a total bastard. Could it?

Ike, who should've spoken up and brought his mother relief, didn't and seemed to enjoy being a foot away from someone wailing about his body being tossed into a trash compactor and ground to bits.

Sheila finally stopped sobbing and raised her head slowly to look over Kyle's shoulder. Kyle braced himself.

"Ike, you're alive!" Sheila cried in astonishment, as she practically tossed Kyle aside and dove onto Ike, smothering his face with kisses.

"Metal zebra runs into a jack o' lantern," Ike said confidently, as if everyone would begin applauding and throwing roses at him for his brilliant intellect.

Kyle, who usually hated it when his mother came to his rescue (which was never, now that he thought about it) felt a bit jealous of the attention Ike was receiving. But only a little bit, as he saw something very delectable catch his vision. Stan's sexy ass.

Kyle forced himself to look away when Stan turned around and tapped him on the nose.

"Hey!" Kyle stated indignantly, flicking Stan's forehead in return and smiling when he backed away.

"Ow, dude. What did you do that for?" Stan huffed, feigning innocence. Kyle continued smiling and shrugged.

"Because I wanted to see if you would take it like a man?" Kyle suggested, just as an iron grip took hold of his shoulder. He knew who that was, and turned to face his mother.

"Kyle, I am very disappointed in you," Sheila said, ignoring Kyle's confused expression and going on, "I thought you were a smart boy and would know better than to do that."

"Do what?" Kyle asked, shooting a helpless glance towards Stan, who looked just as lost, and maybe a little freaked out as well. Sheila could be creepy sometimes.

Sheila pulled herself up to her fullest height. "Don't backtalk me Kyle, you know what you did."

Kyle paused as if considering this, his brow furrowed in concentration, before saying, "Um, no, I don't?"

"You were trying to take Ike to school for show and tell!" Sheila finally clarified, while Kyle was more lost than ever.

"Mom, I'm not in elementary school anymore. We don't have show and tell. And besides, why would I bring Ike? He'd creep everyone out." Kyle stated simply, seeing Stan making weird hand gestures in the corner of his eye.

"He take me to big kid eating small kid," Ike said, finally choosing that moment to speak.

Sheila pounced. "You see, Kyle? Ike just said it again!" Kyle could have further argued his point that whatever Ike said made no sense to anyone, when Stan grabbed him by the arm.

"Mrs. Broflovski, our bus is here, so if you don't mind—" Stan said, leading Kyle up the stairs of the bus.

Mrs. Broflovski lapped up his charm and made a shooing motion with her hands. "No, no. You boys go along and I'll take Ike to the university," She said sweetly, before glaring at Kyle and leaving with Ike firmly in tow.

As Stan and Kyle settled in their seats, Kyle turned to him and said, " I think my mom is in love with you, dude."

"Really? I don't think so," Stan replied distractedly, craning his neck around and looking at everyone on the bus.

"What are you doing?" Kyle asked, twisting around in his seat to see what Stan was looking at. As this was the late bus, there were only about 10 kids on it, but what Kyle saw made him sigh.

There was Wendy Testaburger in the backseat, with her long black hair and deep brown eyes that looked like dogshit in his opinion, but like the finest chocolate to any guy who happened to be infatuated with her. Like the whole male population at school for instance, and most horrific of all, Stan. _His_ Stan.

Kyle slumped in his seat and let Stan continue goggling at Wendy, who had been his girlfriend back in the 3rd and 4th grade. She broke up with him for some mysterious reason, and he had never gotten over her, no matter how much he pretended he had.

Kyle was plotting ways to kill off that eco-friendly smart-ass bitch before Stan got snared in her trap, when he realized that they were at school, and he had forgotten his backpack at the bus stop.

Shit.


	2. Cake

Kyle walked through the doors to South Park High School with Stan, still annoyed over the fact that he had left his bag behind at the bus stop. Life was kind to Kyle, it really was.

The bell had rung 10 minutes ago, and although the halls were empty, trace scents of strawberry scented hairspray and Axe lingered in the air. Kyle wondered briefly if Stan would like him if he wore some kind of cologne, and then dismissed the idea as being completely and utterly insane.

Wendy brushed passed them, laughing with her best friend Bebe as they headed to class. Bebe had once told Kyle he had a hot ass, and Kyle had never forgotten it. Although if the words had come from someone else's lips, they would've been much sweeter to remember. Kyle didn't turn to look at Stan, as he already knew where his gaze was and where he would always look. At that stupid whore Wendy.

"Why can't I ever get what I want?" Kyle said out loud. He immediately froze. What was wrong with him today? Why couldn't he act normal and shut up, instead of thinking about Stan all the time?

Stan paused briefly next to him, and Kyle stiffened, but Stan didn't say anything and continued walking.

Thank you, God. Kyle thought, letting out an inaudible sigh of relief. The two parted and headed to their separate classes, and Kyle forbade himself from thinking about Stan or initialing his name on his binders. That would make him look _really _suspicious. His..feelings for Stan were too strange for him to share with the world. They were like a fine delicacy that only people accustomed to it would like. Kyle had a funny feeling that if he made his feelings known his life would be over forever.

Kyle entered his math class and apologized for being late, then settled down next to Kenny McCormick, one of his oldest friends.

Kenny was from a poor family, thus he was very frail looking. He often impressed people by showing them how the bones in his calves were visible and how his ribs jutted out. He was like the white version of an African child, and several concerned adults stopped him in the street to offer him spare change. However, that lack of money and body fat actually made the girls go crazy over him. He was apparently courageous and brave for going through life despite difficulties, and really cute to boot, with his silky blonde hair and blue eyes. He was also a drug dealer and a man whore on top of all that, but we don't need to get bogged down in specifics, do we?

"Hey Kenny," Kyle said as he slid into his seat and took off his jacket. Kenny looked at him sympathetically.

"You forgot your bag?" Kenny asked, handing some paper and a pencil to Kyle, who accepted it gratefully.

"Yeah. Thanks dude," Kyle said, surprised at the accuracy of Kenny's guess and display of generosity. Kenny usually clung to anything he owned like a bulldog, even if it was a gum wrapper. Must have been his upbringing.

Kenny seemed to read his mind and said, "I jacked that stuff from the art room. And Cartman told me about the bag thing."

Kyle nodded along absentmindedly before realizing what he had said and turned to look at him.

"The supreme fat ass told you? But he wasn't anywhere near the bus stop, how could he have—" Kyle said, his voice increasing in pitch, when he realized that the room was dead silent.

"Kyle, I suggest you keep your outbursts to yourself," Mr.Bootkrac said sternly. "You were late as well, don't forget that."

Kyle saw Craig flip the teacher off in the corner of his eye, and wished that he could do it too, but his mother would have a coronary if she heard about it.

"Whatever." Kyle said, and remained silent for the rest of his class. He had a new bone to pick with that stalkerish son of a bitch.

Kyle fumed all through English, and when the bell finally rang for lunch, he ran out before it even stopped ringing.

"S-s-someone's hungry," Jimmy stuttered sarcastically as he gathered up his books and papers.

In the cafeteria, Kyle's eyes zoomed in on his target. Cartman was sitting at their usual table alone (as he always somehow managed to get out of his class early so he could line up first) and he was devouring lasagna, with a two large pieces of chocolate cake on the side.

Kyle stalked over to the table and stood over him, waiting for him to stop shoveling food down his gullet. He was a very polite boy, after all.

Cartman blatantly ignored him, and finished with his lasagna moved on to his dessert.

"Mmm, tasty cake, so delicious and smothered in frosting," Cartman crooned in that tone that he always used when trying to annoy someone. And unfortunately that someone was usually Kyle.

Kyle couldn't take it anymore and slammed his fists on the table. "Goddamnit, fat ass. Can you stop eating for just a second? I need to tell you something."

Cartman looked up at him and feigned an expression of surprise. He then let out a sigh, and pushed his tray with the cake on it aside.

"Why hello there Kahl, I didn't see you," Cartman said, smiling pleasantly. "Where's Stan? Ditched you after you guys made out in the bathroom again?"

"Shut up, fat ass!" Kyle exclaimed, sitting down across from him. "There's nothing going on between me and Stan, whatever your stupid ideas are."

Cartman arched one eyebrow, which Kyle was momentarily distracted by. It was perfectly shaped, and seemed out of place on the tubby face of his adversary.

"No Kahl, I think you're mistaken," Cartman said, "the last time I checked you had a lifetime subscription to Fags R Us."

Kyle emitted low a growl that came out whenever his sexuality was questioned, and was about to tackle that asshole to the floor when Butters appeared at their table.

"Hey Eric, Kyle," Butters said cheerily, before turning to Kyle and asking, "Why were making a sound like a dawg?"

Kyle shrugged, his anger evaporating. It was hard to stay mad when someone as angelic looking as Butters came along, with his wide baby blue eyes and perpetual expression of worry on his face.

Cartman had someone managed to eat both pieces of cake during the time when Kyle was interacting with Butters and was licking his fingers.

"Butters, Kahl was making his Jew noise. He does it to call other Jews to the area when there's no kosher food around, so they can give some to him."

"What did you just say?" Kyle asked, jumping to the defense of religion just as Butters said "Oh."

Cartman cleared his throat noisily and was about to repeat himself quite happily when Butters pointed to the other side of the cafeteria where there was a commotion.

"Look, there's Kenny. What's he doing, all rolling on the floor like that?" Butters asked nervously.

Kyle looked over at where Kenny was and didn't see what the big fuss was about. Kenny never got any lunch from home and couldn't afford the cost of food at school, so he was always begging the cafeteria workers to take pity on him and give him some fries.

"He's gonna do it soon," Cartman said gleefully, while the everyone in the cafeteria turned to observe the usual Monday afternoon entertainment.

"Give me something," Kenny pleaded from his the floor as he writhed around making moaning noises.

The cafeteria worker was new, and looked unsure at what Kenny was doing. She nervously looked out at the other kids for help, but they stared back at her, silent. It was a dog eat dog world.

"Kid, it's 3.50 for a hot lunch. Take it or leave it," She said, wincing as Kenny stopped thrashing around on the floor and stood up. He lifted his black bomber jacket (stole it from the lost & found) to reveal the ghastly sight.

"Awww." Everyone moaned in unison, while Kenny grinned, snatched a muffin, and sauntered to Kyle's table. The cafeteria worker stood where she was, swaying slightly and looking faint from the pallor and boniness of the spectacle that was Kenny.

"That was pretty cool." Cartman said as Kenny sat down. "I guess being poor has some benefits."

"Shut up, you fat piece of crap," Kenny muttered at he tore ravenously into his muffin.

Kyle wondered how it was the Kenny didn't let Cartman didn't get to him. He wished he were Kenny. Maybe then his life would be better. He would be straight and making out with 10 girls a week, selling pot and living the good life. Except for being poor, but money wasn't an issue. Okay, maybe it was. Kyle _did_ love his money, the one thing about him that screamed "Jew!" Well, that and his curly red afro.

"Hey, you guys!" Cartman exclaimed, suddenly combing his brown hair with his fingers and wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. "Bebe is coming this way!"

Kyle was surprised. Cartman, who never displayed interest in anyone or anything not concerning him, liked Bebe? Sure, she was cute, with her long wavy blonde hair and green eyes, but nothing compared to Stan. Well, maybe he couldn't know how Cartman felt, as girls weren't his thing.

Bebe smiled sweetly as she stood beside their table, self-consciously biting her lower lip and blushing simultaneously.

"Hey guys, I was wondering if I could—" she started, when Kenny interrupted her.

"Nice tits, you wanna go out?" Kenny asked, while Kyle suppressed a groan. Could Kenny go a minute without finding some new girl to fondle?

Bebe shook her head. "Kenny, I know your reputation as a playboy. I want to talk to the guy at this table who actually respects women."

Kyle blinked once, then twice. Was Bebe talking about _him_? God, why was this happening? He had been there, done that, and Bebe had broken up with him just as quickly as she fell in love with his ass way back in the third grade.

"Yeah?" Cartman asked, leering at Kyle. Apparently Cartman thought that what Bebe said applied to him. In another world, maybe.

"Ew, not you! _Kyle_," Bebe emphasized, turning to him and touching his shoulder, "can I talk to you after school today?"

Kyle's immediate urge was to blurt out "No fucking way," but he saw how pissed Cartman was and it pleased him enormously. So he took his time, enjoying Cartman's seething, before he answered.

"Of course, Bebe. I'll meet you at the main entrance." He told her, feeling a bit weird about the way she was looking at his nether regions and practically licking her lips. Not weird, make that scared as hell.

"Okay, see you then!" she cooed, before flouncing away to join Wendy and the rest of the girls at the table near the entrance of the cafeteria.

"Whatever, Kahl. You know you'll chicken out," Cartman jeered, before leaving and taking the emotionally scarred Butters elsewhere. Probably to a meeting of his Pro-War Club, that was probably not even legal.

"God, that girl has such great tits. You're so lucky, dude," Kenny sighed enviously. Just then, his (stolen) cell phone rang, and he picked it up. A flurry of excited cursing poured from his mouth, and Kenny hung up.

"Just scored a motherfucking load of pot! I'm gonna cash in big this time and buy myself a condo for me to crash with the ladies," He crowed, before leaping from the table and running to meet his supplier.

"What?" Kyle asked, a moment too late. He felt as if none of his friends were the same. Well, maybe they were, a little, but they were growing up. And he was left behind.

Stan appeared by his side, breathless and said, "Dude, where'd everyone go? I had to make up my math exam and I—"

"Fuck!" Kyle exclaimed, lowering his head onto the table, when he realized he hadn't asked how Cartman had known about his backpack. That, and he was meeting a girl after school, while Stan seemed farther away than ever.


	3. Costumes

"Whoa, dude," Stan said, startled by Kyle's little outburst. He sat down in front of Kyle, where Cartman had been sitting earlier, and looked at him. "What's wrong?"

Kyle felt his cheeks grow warm and he averted eye contact with Stan. Stan was going to think he was insane by the week's end if he kept on blurting out swear words and emo stuff about how his life sucked. He had to act normal; he had to, if not for his sake, but Stan's.

Kyle forced himself to meet Stan's piercing gaze. Those eyes…what they did to him, what they made him _feel_.

"I'm fine. I was just pissed 'cause Cartman knew about the backpack thing." Kyle explained, deciding to leave the part about Bebe out. There wasn't really anything to tell Stan about her, anyway. She just wanted to talk to him. Maybe she needed Kyle's advice or something. That could be a possibility, right? Life didn't always have to revolve around making out with people, did it?

Stan chuckled when he heard that. "Cartman's an ass. He always finds ways to figure stuff out, whether you want him to or not. So you shouldn't care about what he says." Stan smiled.

Despite himself, Kyle couldn't help smiling along with Stan. He always managed to make him feel better.

"I guess." Kyle agreed, when he heard his stomach emit a low-pitched growl that seemed to stretch on forever.

Stan leaned over the table and poked Kyle in his belly button, grinning as Kyle let out a cry of surprise.

"Did you eat anything, dude?" Stan questioned, and mock frowned as Kyle shook his head.

"I was too busy with Cartman, so I couldn't buy anything," Kyle sighed and added, "of course, I left my lunch from home in my bag, along with my change."

"You're such an idiot," Stan said warmly. Or so Kyle desperately believed him to sound.

"I am not, I get better grades than you do!" Kyle protested, watching as Stan got up and began to move to the lunch line, which was very short as lunch would end in 10 minutes.

"Yeah, but that's 'cause you're a nerd!" Stan replied teasingly over his shoulder, before he turned around to buy their lunches.

Kyle watched him, and felt happier than he had been all day. Stan was so nice to him; he was such a good friend. In fact, the only fault Kyle could find with Stan was that he didn't like Kyle the way Kyle secretly liked him.

Stan returned with two pieces of the cake Cartman had been eating and set one down in front of Kyle, before digging into his.

"Dude, this isn't lunch, it's dessert!" Kyle said mock sternly, laughing when Stan rolled his eyes and gave him the finger.

"Well, did you really want the gravy surprise? They ran out of lasagna," Stan told him between bites of cake.

"I love the gravy surprise," Kyle said, making kissy lips towards the startled Cafeteria worker, who blushed and looked away.

"I know, right? It's so hot," Stan agreed as he finished off his cake. "I think you should ask it out."

Kyle laughed along with him, and replied, "I think you should ask it out. It would be so happy to date the star quarterback."

"I couldn't do that. I mean, I might, but first Wendy would have to vanish off the face of the Earth." Stan said, rather seriously.

Kyle licked some frosting off his upper lip in annoyance. God, here he went again. Luckily lunch was over any minute now so he wouldn't have to hear—

"Hey dudes," Craig said as he sidled up to where they sat. His dark eyes eyed the piece of cake on the table, which was Kyle's and quickly nabbed it and ate it before Kyle could do anything about it.

"Craig, what the hell did you do that for?" Kyle asked, bur he wasn't as pissed off as he would have been if it had bee Cartman.

"I was hungry!" Craig protested as he snatched Stan's napkin and wiped his chocolate covered hands with it.

"Whatever. So why are you here?" Stan asked, laughing as Craig waved to someone on the other side of the Cafeteria while flipping the bird to them after they had turned away.

"Well, I just wanted to announce that you are looking at the luckiest guy alive," Craig grinned, scratching his nose with his middle finger.

"Oh yeah? What makes you so lucky?" Kyle asked, hearing the bell ringing which signaled the end of lunch.

"Well," Craig said smugly, enjoying the curious looks on their faces, " _I _just asked Wendy out and guess what? She said yes!" He proclaimed.

Kyle immediately stiffened and dared not look at Stan. Craig was going to be killed. It was obvious to everyone that Stan had a thing for Wendy, and it was pretty much as if he had stolen her from him.

"Oh." Stan replied, in a very small voice that sounded void of life. He looked up at Craig and said through clenched teeth, "Confuckinggrats."

Craig, oblivious to the tension in his voice, nodded proudly. "I know, right? That chick hasn't dated anyone since she broke up with Token last year. I guess she must really have a thing for me!"

Kyle stood up and began nudging Stan to his next class. "That's great Craig, have a good time with her." Kyle told him quickly, and soon he and Stan were in the halls, surrounded by a large group of students.

"Stan—" Kyle began, trying to offer some words of condolence, when Bebe appeared out of nowhere and stopped in front of them.

"Kyle, don't forget about today," Bebe told him, touching him on his shoulder and winking before the crowd swallowed her.

Kyle stammered out some sort of response, and turned to look at Stan. "Girls are weird, huh?" He said nervously, wondering what kind of reaction Stan would have.

Stan looked back at him with the strangest expression and said hollowly, "No, dude. They're fucking messed up. But it's cool that you're going out with—"

"I'm not," Kyle replied, but Stan had left without hearing him. Kyle slowly made his way to his PE class, wondering why all of this was happening now.

After school, Kyle was so worried about Stan (and with good reason, as the last time Wendy had started going out with someone he had turned into an emo kid) that he had forgotten all about Bebe and was about to leave and get to Stan's house as fast as he could when the Royal Bitch herself tapped him on the shoulder.

"Kyle, where are you going?" Wendy asked, in that high pitched and sickeningly sweet voice of hers.

Kyle turned around and glared at her. "What's it to you? I'm going home," he muttered, but Wendy grabbed him by the arm and he was forced to stop.

"Look, if you want me to tell Stan that you're sorry, I won't." Kyle said flat out, as Wendy's mouth turned into a little "O" of surprise.

"Kyle, why would I ask you to do that? Stan and me…we're over, we haven't gone out since the fourth grade!" Wendy exclaimed, seemingly stunned at the fact that Stan could still possibly like her.

"Fine, whatever, can I go now?" Kyle asked, pleased at the fact that Wendy didn't like Stan. Now he would be able to tell Stan what a bitch she was, Stan would get over her, and Kyle would live happily ever after.

"You're supposed to be meeting Bebe, remember?" Wendy asked, her voice turning to ice as she stood nose to nose with Kyle. "I really don't like it when my friends get stood up by arrogant jerks like _you_." With that, Wendy flounced off; leaving Kyle standing slack jawed behind her.

Kyle couldn't believe he had forgotten about Bebe. He had been so worried about meeting her before, but it just went to show how much more he cared about Stan's problems than his own.

"Hi, Kyle. I'm so glad you're here," A voice said, and Kyle turned to see Bebe standing behind him, twisting a strand from her rainbow colored scarf around her finger nervously.

"Hey Bebe," Kyle stammered, suddenly feeling very shy. What the hell was wrong with him, it was almost as if he liked her!

Bebe smiled and stood a little closer to him. "Do you know about Freak Out?" she asked, and smiled when she saw Kyle nod his head slowly.

Freak Out was their Halloween dance, and it was taking place that Wednesday, which was only two days away. Why would she want him to—?

Oh, hell no! Mistaking his look of horror for one of joy, Bebe jumped right in and asked him to go to the dance with her.

" I can't." Kyle blurted out, immediately regretting what he had said when he saw Bebe's face crumple in disappointment. He was way too sensitive when it came to blubbering girls, or guys for that matter.

"You hate me, don't you," Bebe said sadly, pouting and turning to look at the ground. She was using the guilt technique that all girls were seemingly born with, and fine-tuned, as they got older.

"No, Bebe, it's not like that, I'm—" Kyle caught himself before he said, "in love with Stan," and hastily substituted, "I'm a _really_ bad dancer."

Bebe looked up, and he saw a smile beginning to come back on her face. Whew, he had saved himself from that fucked up situation.

"Don't be silly," she giggled. "I bet you're a great dancer, you're just too modest to admit it!"

Kyle really was telling the truth. He was a terrible dancer, with three left feet, and would probably crush Bebe's toes when they were dancing. Wait, since when had he decided he would go with her?

"Don't forget to bring your steel toed boots, then," Kyle half-joked, hoping that she actually would wear them.

"Oh, you're just too cute!" Bebe squealed, patting his butt affectionately and giggling as Kyle blushed.

After they had set the time and date (Kyle's mom would drive them to the school at 8 and drop Bebe at home by 11:30) Bebe told him that she had forgotten a teeny detail: they were going to be wearing costumes.

"What?" Kyle asked, shocked. He had already screwed himself over by agreeing to go with Bebe in the first place, Stan had probably drowned himself in a bathtub by now, and she wanted him to wear a _costum_e?

"It would be so sexy, Kyle," Bebe purred. "If we wore matching costumes, we'd be crowned King and Queen of Halloween for sure!"

That was great and all, but Kyle didn't really want to be known as King. He just wanted to be an anonymous guy who made out with Stan in some dark corner while the King and Queen were presented with their lame-ass crowns.

"Please, Kyle? Show some spirit!" Bebe urged, and to get out of there Kyle finally agreed.

"That's great, so I'll see you then!" Bebe smiled, and gave Kyle a peck on the cheek. Kyle blushed yet again. God, why were girls so touchy feely, and why did he even care? Only Stan was supposed to make him feel this way. There was no chance in hell that he liked Bebe, was there?

"Make your princess costume soon!" Bebe yelled back at him as she hopped in her mother's car and it sped away.

Kyle stood there, letting this new piece of information absorb. Wait; did he just agree to wear a _princess costume_?

Goddamnit!


	4. Guitar

Stan left school immediately after the final bell rang, feeling numb. In his PE class, he had been hit on the head by a basketball, but he hadn't even noticed until a crowd of his classmates had gathered around him and asked him if he was okay. No, he wasn't okay, but it wasn't the basketball's fault. It was Craig's. Why'd that asshole have to go and ask Wendy out anyway? Sure, he hadn't told anyone that he liked Wendy, but still.

Wendy. Picturing her made his heart do crazy things inside of him. He wanted to feel her delicate mouth on his again. He wanted to be the one who held her when she was sad, and stroked her long silky hair when she leaned her head on his shoulder. He almost wished he was still the little boy who threw up on her whenever she spoke to him; at least back then he knew she had liked him. And now…

Stan looked up at the sky, expecting it to be dark gray with a storm appearing any minute, to match with his bitter feelings. But no, it was bright blue perfection. It was almost as if nature agreed with how things had turned out with Wendy. Stan suddenly realized how much he hated nature with all those little birds that sat in trees together, all happy and shit. Oh dear, it looks like someone's embracing his emo side again!

Stan began kicking rocks ahead of him, trying to take his anger out on something, anything. Maybe Wendy just agreed to go out with Craig because she needed someone to go to the dance with, and everyone else was taken. But if that was the case, why hadn't she asked _him_?

Lost in these tragic thoughts, Stan tripped over something and crashed to the ground.

"Jesus Christ!" Stan yelled, not caring who heard him. He sat up slowly, wincing when he saw the little bits of gravel embedded in his palms. What kind of retard had left their backpack lying on the street like that?

Stan blinked once when he fully registered the backpack. It was Kyle's. Amazingly, no one had stolen it or vandalized it, although it did have a big smiley face drawn with sharpie marker on it.

Stan couldn't help the little grin that appeared on his face. Kyle, that goddamn kid. He was always losing things and generally behaving like a child would. He was such a dork. Stan picked up the bag, and hung it on his left arm. He didn't care how fucked up he looked carrying two backpacks. It's not as if it wouldn't make Wendy want to date him or anything: she had already decided that on her own.

Finally arriving at home, Stan ran to his room without bothering to greet his parents, Randy and Sharon Marsh.

"Stan, take off your shoes!" he heard his mom call as he hurried up the stairs to his room.

"Calm down, Sharon. Everyone knows taking shoes off at the door is uncool," Randy told her, and inevitably Sharon began arguing with him.

Stan took both backpacks off, and was about to fling them across his room in frustration, when he remembered that one of them was Kyle's. Who knew if he had some kind of science project or something in there? So Stan placed Kyle's down carefully on the floor, before throwing his against the (unused) bookcase on the opposite end of the room.

"Stan!" He heard Sharon cry in annoyance, pissed off that he had broken up her fight with Randy with his noise.

"Calm down, Sharon. Let him do the heavy metal thing, it's popular!" Stan her Randy tell her, and they began bitching at each other again. God, why hadn't they divorced back when he was in the third grade again? They were almost as bad as Kenny's parents. Well, almost. Stan's parents didn't throw things at each other or have screaming fits when there were guests over.

Stan sat on his bed and picked up his acoustic guitar, which he usually played only when he was frustrated or sad. And at that moment, he was incredibly pissed off, so it was definitely a time to play his guitar.

Stan didn't have any particular musical genre that he liked, but he was a secretly fan of pop rock and anything kind of cheesy love songs. So he decided he would play one, and hope against all the odds that it would make Wendy realize that she didn't want to be with Craig after all.

Stan began to play, and at first he hummed along, but before he knew it he was singing softly with emotion.

I'm not going  
cause I've been waiting for a miracle  
And I'm not leaving  
I won't let you  
Let you give up on a miracle  
When it might save you

He stopped singing when he heard someone knocking on the door downstairs, and hurriedly hid his guitar under his bed and held his breath. Could it be that the song had worked and Wendy had come over to confess her undying love to him?

He quickly ran a brush through his shaggy dark hair, and stood up, feeling nervous, excited and hopeful. At least he was, until he heard who was there.

"Stan, your stupid little friend Cartman is here! He's coming up right now!" He heard his sister Shelley call, and his stomach sank. What the hell was that fat bastard doing there?

Cartman barged into Stan's room a moment later, and chuckled when he saw Stan standing there, the brush still in his right hand.

"Stan, really. You should have stopped singing into your hairbrush a long time ago," Cartman smirked.

"Ay!" Cartman cried, when Stan threw the brush at him and it hit him in the shoulder. "What did you do that for?"

Stan shrugged. "Because I thought a giant man eating walrus had walked into my room and I wanted to kill it."

"Whatever, Stan. You know I'm big-boned. All those fat boy jokes are lame," Cartman replied, rubbing his shoulder. "Besides, you love faggy animals almost as much as that goddamn jewbag Kahl."

"No, I don't," Stan replied instantly. "I like—" He paused when he realized he was about to tell Cartman about his adoration of Wendy. That wouldn't be good, Cartman would find some way to humiliate him about that and…

"I know you like Wendy, Stan. God, you don't have to be such a secretive douche about it," Cartman muttered, as he sat down heavily on Stan's bed and began eating a half full bag of chips.

Stan's heart began to race, and waves of nausea hit him. How did Cartman know? If Cartman knew, that meant everyone was sure to follow!

Cartman snorted, apparently seeing the discomfort on Stan's face. "Jesus, Stan. Relax, I'm not gonna tell anyone about your feelings for that anorexic bitch."

"You're not?" Stan asked feeling relief wash over him. He decided to ignore the anorexic part; Cartman probably didn't even know what an anorexic was.

"Well," Cartman said slowly through a mouthful of nacho Doritos, "I won't if certain, shall I say, _conditions_ are met."

Stan slowly lowered himself onto his bed next to Cartman and turned to look at him. He should have known that he had something up his sleeve, he always did.

"What kind of conditions are you talking about?"

"Well, there's only one. It's easy, really. So terribly easy, even Butters could do it, and he's goddamn incapable of doing anything."

"What the hell is it?"

"You have to break up Kyle and Bebe."

Stan felt the nausea return when he heard that. Kyle had never had a real girlfriend. He wasn't bad looking, in fact quite the contrary. But he never seemed to show any interest in girls, and when Stan had asked him once why he didn't date anyone, he had simply said he didn't like any of the girls he knew. But now, finally, Kyle had been asked out by Bebe and had a chance to experience all those incredible things provided by having a girlfriend, and Cartman was asking him to break them up?

"I can't do it," Stan replied, sighing. He guessed that everyone would get to know about his feelings for Wendy now, and they would think of him as totally lame as she was dating Craig already.

Cartman turned to him, smiling. "I thought you might say that. So I have a little bonus for you if you. I'll make Wendy be your girlfriend again."

Stan couldn't believe the words that came out of his mouth next. He was always a boy with whom friendship came first, but Wendy was too important to give up. So he resigned and turned his fate over to Cartman.

"Fine," he said, hating the light that lit up Cartman's flabby face, hating how he was betraying his best friend.

"That's a good boy, I thought you would," Cartman said complacently, getting up to his feet and brushing his pants off, scattering chip crumbs onto Stan's carpet. He was about to leave, when Stan spoke up.

"Why do you want me to do this, anyway?" Stan asked, his voice wobbling slightly. He hated how weak he sounded.

Cartman let out a long sigh. "Stan my man, you wouldn't understand. Just keep your mouth shut and break them up, and Wendy Testesburger will be all yours."

"Testaburger," Stan corrected automatically, while Cartman rolled his eyes heavenward.

"Whatever, same shit. Just be sure to attend that gay Freak Out dance. It's the best place to break them up. I'll be watching," Cartman warned, before leaving and stepping onto Kyle's backpack on his way out.

Stan sat there alone after the door had closed, pinching the bridge of his nose to keep his emotions in check. Had he really just let Cartman manipulate him into ruining Kyle's chance at happiness?

Stan jumped to his feet, suddenly changing his mind. He wouldn't be a traitor. Kyle meant more to him than Wendy did and…Stan's eyes came to rest on a picture of him and Wendy holding hands. It had been taking 5 years ago, but Stan had still kept it after all those years, and it made him feel the same way now: hopelessly in love with the most beautiful girl on Earth, Wendy.

"Kyle, you'll understand. You probably don't even like Bebe that much yet," Stan whispered, trying to make himself feel better. But it didn't work, and Stan felt sicker than ever, picturing the hurt in Kyle's eyes when Stan ruined his love life.

Strangely, imagining Kyle with Bebe made him feel angry as well. If Kyle was with Bebe, who would be there to support him? If they both had girlfriends, they would be too busy to hang out. So it was obviously better if only one of them was seeing a girl, and Stan had decided that it would be him.

He could keep that weird _feeling _about Kyle in check. He could get Wendy and keep his best friend at the same time.

Couldn't he?

**Author's note: I hoped you liked this chapter, it was in Stan's POV this time (as if you couldn't tell already!) I'll be really happy if you leave a review, as it means you like the story (or at least feel _something _about it!) and it makes me want to continue writing. So please comment/criticize, and I'll be glad to do the same for you! I'll try to get 2 more chapters up by Halloween, but I'm not promising anything. :P**


	5. Friends

Kyle went to sleep that night, or so he tried. He had attempted calling Stan a few times after school, hoping to go over to his house, but Stan's constantly PMSing sister Shelley always answered and told him that "the turd isn't in, kid." Well, that must have meant that Stan was still alive if they knew whether he was home or not. Right? Right,

Kyle tossed and turned, but sleep wouldn't come, as per usual. His back dripped with sweat, his feet were cold, and he was extremely concerned about having to see Bebe tomorrow. He had asked his mom to get him a princess costume after school, telling her it was for a play. Luckily Mrs. Broflovski didn't pay any attention to the school letters announcing the dance that Kyle had been bringing home lately, or there would have been many more questions.

Kyle rolled over and glanced at the digital alarm clock by his bed. It read 3:30, yet again. Homework time. Kyle staggered out of bed, feeling dead tired but not at all sleepy, and sat down at his desk. He looked through his agenda, and saw he had a bunch of reading to do for history and questions to answer too. How fun, the perfect thing to do at that time in the morning.

Just as he picked up a pencil to begin working, his cell phone rang. He shook his head, trying to clear his mind. Was he hallucinating? But no, the phone rang again, and Kyle checked the caller id, the blue light emitting from the cell phone illuminating his face.

It was Stan's home phone number. Kyle stared at it, his eyes wide. What the hell was Stan doing, calling him at that time of the day? He debated over whether or not he would answer, and decide that yes, he would. He couldn't resist talking with Stan and finding out how his brokenhearted friend was doing.

"Stan?"

"Kyle, good, it's you."

"Who else would it be, Ike?"

"I dunno, dude. But I wanted to ask you something."

"Let me ask you something first, okay?"

"What, Kyle? I really can't answer anything about the history homework, because—"

"It's not about that. I just wanted to know where you were after school. I tried calling you but your sister said you weren't in."

"I was… at the mall, getting a costume for Freak Out."

Kyle didn't believe that one bit. He knew Stan too well, and most likely Stan had been playing some crap love songs on his guitar for hours and had told his sister to lie about his whereabouts. That bastard. But his sleepy voice sounded cute, and he was taking the time to call him now…

"Bullshit. Since when were you going to the dance?"

"Since today, okay? I don't want to play fifty questions right now, Kyle."

"What costume did you get?"

There was a pause, and Kyle could see the hamster running on a wheel in Stan's brain, trying to come up with an idea. Stan was just so cute.

"Not telling."

"Jesus, Stan, you sound five years old. Tell me."

"Only if you tell me what you're wearing."

Kyle slowly took the phone away from his ear, and let out a sigh. How did Stan know he was wearing a costume to the dance? It suddenly dawned on him that he was going to the dance with Bebe, who had probably put it in her msn screen name for the whole goddamn world to see. At least she hadn't put exactly what they would be wearing, which was a plus. But still.

"Kyle? Hello?

Kyle hastily pressed the phone back to his ear.

"I'm here."

"And?"

"And I'm not telling."

"C'mon, dude. I'll give you a piggyback ride tomorrow if you tell."

"I… I don't want a piggyback ride!"

"Two piggyback rides?"

"Jesus Christ, Stan."

Kyle was blushing deeply and his head as if it had been inflated with helium. Stan hadn't given him piggyback rides since the fourth grade. But thinking about having them now felt kind of _erotic_.

"Fine, you win."

"Cool."

There was a long pause, until Kyle spoke up.

"Stan, about Wendy…"

There was a sharp intake of breath on the other end of the line.

"What about her?"

Kyle knew that Stan didn't want anyone to know about his love of Wendy, but it was so painfully obvious, Kyle sometimes forgot to play along.

"Nothing, forget it."

"How about you and your girlfriend?"

"What?"

"You know. Bebe? Blonde hair, green eyes?"

"Oh. Yeah. What about us?"

"Do you like her? Seriously, I mean?"

Kyle didn't know how to answer. He felt totally perplexed when he thought about Bebe. On one hand, she was a girl, and Kyle firmly believed that Stan was the only object of his desires. On the other hand, she was cute and she did make him blush for some strange reason. But seeing as how Stan didn't seem as if he were going to be joining pride parades anytime soon, Kyle decided to fudge the truth.

"Yeah, I like her a lot. We, uh, made out after school. And stuff.

"Oh."

"Y-yeah. It was awesome."

"I'll bet."

Kyle didn't understand why there was suddenly this weird tone to Stan's voice. It was almost as if he were sad, or maybe angry. Why?

"So I'll see you tomorrow, then."

"Right."

"Good night, Stan."

"Good night, Wen—"

"What?"

"_Kyle_. I meant Kyle. I'll give back your bag tomorrow."

And with that, Stan hung up, leaving Kyle pressing the phone to his ear. He had mistaken him for Wendy. It wasn't the first time, and it wouldn't be the last.

'I should just give up on him,' Kyle thought as he began flipping through his insanely huge history textbook. But he knew it wasn't that easy. After liking someone for over 5 years, you couldn't just let the feelings go with a snap of your fingers. And with these thoughts in his head, Kyle fell into a deep sleep that was blissfully empty of the freaky nightmares that usually visited him.

The next day, as Kyle made his way to their usual spot, and was surprised to see that no one sat there. Not even Cartman, who was _always_ there before everyone else. Kyle slowly made his way to the table, looking around the cafeteria. Unable to see his friends sitting at any of the other tables, he lowered himself onto the bench and took his lunch out of a plastic bag from a supermarket. Stan was supposed to have given back his bag that morning, but he hadn't been at the bus stop.

The sandwich was halfway to his mouth when someone tapped him on the shoulder. He lowered it and turned around, hoping to see Stan. He hadn't seen him for a whole day, practically.

But no, it was Bebe. She was wearing skinny jeans tucked into dark boots, and her hair had been straightened. She looked nice, but Kyle didn't feel anything when he looked at her. She was just some random pretty girl, not his girlfriend that he supposedly felt such strong emotions towards.

"Hey, Bebe. What are you doing here?" he asked, smiling self consciously as she brushed a stray curl out of his eyes.

"What do you mean, silly? We're a going out, aren't we? Couples are supposed to eat together," Bebe teased, sitting down next to Kyle with her salad and bottle of water.

Kyle stared at her meal, if one could call it that. He deduced that she was on a diet and probably was touchy about her weight, so he decided to not mention it. Smart thinking.

"So, I'm getting my costume today," Kyle told her, biting into his sandwich. Bebe turned to look at him, and smiled, showing off bright white teeth. She looked like a Barbie doll, no wonder horny guys like Kenny wanted to go out with her.

"Really?" Bebe grinned, pausing to take a sip of water. "That's great! I didn't think you'd actually do it, but you're a real man. Not like that bastard _Clyde_," she said, darting the brown haired boy, her ex boyfriend, an evil glare. He didn't seem to notice.

Kyle laughed. "So you mean I don't have to dress up like that after all? God, way to make an ass of me!"

Bebe shrugged, putting a hand on his shoulder. " I like to tease boys," She murmured, patting him affectionately on his cheek before finishing off her salad.

"Wait, so I don't need to get it?" Kyle asked, and let out a small moan when he saw Bebe shake her head.

"Of course you do! Now that I know you'd actually do it, we can go right ahead. Prince Bebe and Princess Kyle, soon to be King and Queen of the dance!" Bebe told him, giggling as he laid his head on his arms and groaned.

Kyle suddenly realized that he was actually having fun talking with Bebe. In fact, he had gone at least 2 minutes without thinking about Stan. That must have been some new world record!

"Wendy, over here!" he heard Bebe call, and Kyle jerked his head up.

Oh no oh no oh _no_. He glanced frantically around the Cafeteria, and didn't see Stan anywhere. However, he did see Kenny ambling towards them with a dirty look on his chiseled face.

Wendy arrived at the table at the same time Kenny did, and greeted Bebe before turning to look at the boys.

"Hey, guys," she said, a look of uncertainty on her face when she happened to see Kenny sitting down alongside her.

"Hey Wendy. Did you know that touching your boobs actually makes them—" Kenny let out a yelp when Wendy grabbed Bebe's water and tossed some of the contents at him. Kyle couldn't help smiling. Kenny _was_ coming on a bit too strong at the moment.

"_Soh_-ree," Kenny muttered, but he was unfazed as he dabbed at his face and chest with some napkins.

"So, you two look lovebirds cute together," Wendy said, sticking her tongue out at Kyle when Bebe wasn't looking.

"Don't we?" Kenny agreed, slinging his arm around Bebe's shoulders and flashing a cheesy grin.

Bebe pushed him off with a playful shove. "God, Kenny. You're such a flirt," Bebe squealed, looping her arms around Kyle and cuddling close to him. He looked down on her face, and wished he could superimpose Stan's face in its place. Sure, he was having fun and all, but only as friends. He didn't feel as if he wanted to kiss Bebe's full lips, or run his fingers through her hair. If he did, life would have been much easier.

"Come here, you," Bebe said coyly, lacing her fingers behind his neck and touching his nose with hers.

"Holy shit, dude," Kenny said, practically drooling as he watched Bebe do that to Kyle. He turned to Wendy with a pleading look in his eyes. "Can we do that too?"

Wendy shook her head, causing her dark hair to fly around her delicate face. "No, we can't." Wendy stated, and then sighed when she saw the crestfallen look on Kenny's face and patted his head tenderly. "I might if I wasn't dating Craig, though."

Kenny's eyes grew wide with longing and he stared at Wendy's chest, and when he looked back up to meet her eyes he pouted.

"Break up with Craig, then," he sulked, then fell silent as he saw someone approaching the table.

Kyle saw it too, and froze. Stan.

Stan had been too busy rummaging through Kyle's backpack to notice hat he was getting himself into, but then it was too late. He looked up, and his blue eyes darkened as he saw them. Wendy, with her hand on Kenny's head; Bebe, with her arms around Kyle's neck.

"Am I interrupting you guys?" he asked, almost timidly. Kyle wanted to kiss him then, he looked gorgeous. Dark tendrils of hair hung in his eyes, and he looked a little lost and scared, as if they would yell at him to go away.

Kyle gently unwrapped Bebe's arms from around his neck and gestured to the spot next to him.

"What are you talking about, dude? Sit down," Kyle instructed, and was grateful when Stan did. Probably to prove he was a confident man to Wendy, but whatever. His thigh was an inch away from Kyle's!

Wendy lowered her hand from Kenny's head and smiled hesitantly at Stan. Kyle knew they hadn't spoken for months, maybe years. Probably years, knowing how much Stan tried to stay away from her.

"Hi, Stan," She murmured in his direction, before abruptly getting up and turning to the rest of them. "This was fun and all, guys, but I'm ninth grade president and I have a…a meeting to get to. Bye!" With that, she was off, leaving a sweet smelling perfume in her place.

Bebe jolted upright, and Kyle turned to her. "I'm secretary, I have to go too!" She exclaimed, before kissing Kyle on his cheek and dashing off behind Wendy.

Kenny was the only one who waved goodbye, and then silence loomed over the table.

"So, sex is great," Kenny said casually, rolling his eyes when both Stan and Kyle turned to him, knowing what was coming,

"Kenny!" they protested, and then smiled at each other when the realized they had spoken at the same time. They had always done that, ever since they were babies. In fact, they had both had the same first word: friend.

"You guys need to smoke some pot, it opens up a whole new world," Kenny advised, as he grabbed Kyle's half eaten sandwich and polished off the rest of it.

Stan handed Kyle's bag back to him, and waved Kyle's thanks away like it was nothing. He was such a humble person.

Kenny watched this all unfold, and smiled devilishly. Casually, he propped his head on his hands and let out a sigh. Both Stan and Kyle turned to look at him, and he spoke.

"You know, you guys look cute together."

Kyle blushed, but Stan didn't bat an eye. Instead, he grabbed Kyle and hugged him tightly. This stupefied Kyle into a lovestruck silence.

"Aw, thanks." Stan replied, before planting a big kiss on Kyle's forehead. Kenny watched this bemusedly, pleased at the blush that had appeared on Kyle's normally pale face. He was totally pro-homosexuality. Of course he was.

Kyle pulled away from Stan, mumbling in a dazed protest. He knew Stan was doing this just for show, but didn't he know how much those sorts of things killed him?

"Well then, I'll leave you two alone," Kenny winked, before sauntering off and leaving the two boys together.

"Why did you do that?" Kyle asked in a small voice, but it looked as if he was speaking to the table.

Stan shrugged. "Wanted to show Kenny that we can do that kinda stuff and not be all anti-gay about it."

Kyle stood up, trembling slightly. He couldn't continue pretending if Stan was going to lead him on like this. Stan might have thought nothing of it, but it hurt Kyle to know that Stan didn't stop to consider his feelings before acting so blatantly… _gay_.

"Whatever. I have to go," Kyle muttered, feeling frustrated as he yanked his bag onto his shoulder and left the table at a half walk half run.

"Kyle?" He heard Stan call behind him in confusion, but he didn't turn back. He had always gone back to Stan, always. But this time he didn't know if he could.

**Author's note: First of all: Goddamn, that chapter was hella long. XD This was **_**supposed**_** to be a comedy/romance, but it's turning into some kind of angsty thing. Oh well, I don't really plan the chapters out, so this was what happened. This story isn't supposed to have more than 10 chapters, but we'll see how I quickly I can wrap it up. XD Next chapter comes out tomorrow, or Wednesday. But I enjoy wasting my time writing fan fiction instead of doing homework; so it'll probably be out tomorrow. Please review; everyone who does is awesome and gets cool points! ;D**


	6. War

During that same lunch period, Cartman was sitting in an empty classroom with Butters. It was reserved for their Pro-War club meetings, but no one had shown up. Which was not really unusual, but couldn't at least one other kid come? Cartman was getting homicidal just listening to Butters blab on about his faggy life.

"So t-that's when I decided, no sir, I'm not gonna eat spicy food after dinner again." Butters finished, turning to Cartman with an expectant smile.

Cartman stared at him through half lidded eyes, before letting out a giant yawn. "Jesus, Butters. That was really interesting. It would make a fantastic bedtime story," He managed to mumble through his yawning fit.

Butters, always easily influenced, yawned as well. That annoyed Cartman immensely; did the kid have to do _everything_ he did?

"W-well, I'm glad you think so Eric. I value your opinion and stuff," Butters grinned, showing off his pearly whites. Well, there was a bit of unidentifiable food stuck in between them, but Cartman decided not to point that out.

"I don't value yours, you retarded piece of crap," Cartman muttered under his breath, smiling innocently when Butters asked him to speak up.

"Nothing Butters. Anyway," he said, switching to another, more pressing subject, "I thought you said that you had recruited some fans of Hitler to show up to our meeting today?"

Butters began twiddling his thumbs and looked up at Eric anxiously, like a puppy that was about to get beaten.

"I-I did, I swear it. But I dunno where they are," he said meekly, letting out a small whimper when Cartman slammed his right fist on the table.

"Goddamnit, Butters!" Cartman barked. He gestured around the room. "What do you see?"

Butters swallowed nervously and looked around the room, before looking back at the pudgy face of his hero.

"I-I see nothing, Eric."

"Exactly. Do you realize how fucking gay it is to have a club that no one wants to join? Jesus, people will get the wrong ideas in their sick minds if they think of me and you in here alone—"

"But why? W-we could be playing cards or something."

Cartman stared at him with such psychopathic intensity that even the slow-witted Butters knew enough to shut up. Cartman then grabbed a packet of Twinkies and began to scarf them down, not even bothering to ask Butters if he wanted one. Butters did buy them, after all, but that didn't concern Cartman in the least.

Butters, not knowing what else to do, began to hum a little song. He thought he had a pretty good singing voice, after all, and…

"Butters, shut the hell up!" Cartman roared, just as the door to the classroom opened and someone of medium height and slim build ran in.

Cartman's eyes narrowed. It was Kyle.

Kyle halted in front of them, chest heaving. His eyes looked glassy, as if he had been or was about to begin crying.

"Hey," he said weakly, shuffling from foot to foot, his bag dangling off his shoulder.

Butters smiled happily at the curly haired boy, glad to have someone with him that could take some of Cartman's wrath.

"Hello Kyle. What are you doing here?" Butters questioned, not seeming to notice Kyle's sorry state.

"Well, Jews would never join a pro-war club, so Kahl is not here for that, I assume." Cartman said cheerily, inwardly delighted at the fact that Kyle was sad. Maybe Stan had broken Bebe and him up already! He always knew that boy kept his promises.

Kyle let out a snort as he looked around the room. "Your club is meeting _here_? I don't see any members, fat ass."

"Oh, whatever Kahl. You know lots of people are on field trips today. Besides, if you made a club about dreidels I bet no one would join."

"I-I think that'd be kinda neat," Butters spoke up, causing both Kyle and Cartman to stare at him in disbelief that anyone could possibly be that lame.

"I'm here because I forgot something." Kyle stated, but Cartman saw right through Jewboy's lie. It was pathetic how some people couldn't even keep a straight face while trying to deceive others.

"Forgot the dreidel that you keep shoved up your ass?" Cartman asked, casually twirling a pencil between his fingers.

Kyle glared at him. "At least I don't keep cheesy poofs shoved between the fat rolls on my stomach!"

"Ay! I. Am. Big. Boned," Cartman replied tersely, enunciating each word carefully while Kyle ignored him and began to "look" for something.

"I'll help you look for it," Butters offered, jumping to his feet and hurrying to Kyle's side.

"No, that's okay. Actually, I'm feeling kinda sick so I better go home." Kyle said, hastily backing away from him.

Butters frowned, a wrinkle forming between his pale blonde eyebrows. "Well, alrighty then. I-I hope you feel better in time for the dance tomorrow."

Kyle looked positively green at the mention of the dance, which caused Cartman to be immensely satisfied. So it was definite that the two of them were broken up, then.

"Yeah, I'll be there. Bebe's really excited about it," Kyle told them, almost unconsciously.

"What?" Cartman asked in disbelief. Stan hadn't done it after all. He did have until tomorrow at the dance to break Bebe and Kyle up, but Cartman hated being tricked like that. He abhorred the Jew even more than ever.

"Is there fat in your ears now?" Kyle smirked, beginning to look like his old self as he walked out of the classroom.

"I hope you get AIDS from that whore Bebe and die!" Cartman yelled after him, flipping him off with both hands although Kyle couldn't even see what he was doing.

Butters perked up when a few kids wearing blank expressions and carrying gun magazines arrived in the room.

"See Eric, they did come!" He cried joyfully, causing Cartman to sigh at his gay little outburst and then he began the meeting. He only had 5 minutes to inform these newbies the way of Hitler until the bell to signal the end of lunch rang.

Kyle had never skipped before, but that day he had reason to. He had history with Stan after lunch, and didn't think he could get through the class without finally telling Stan the truth. He was mad at Stan, sure, but not mad enough to ruin their friendship by telling him that he was gay.

Kyle began to think of how that conversation would go as he walked home from school.

"_Hey Stan, guess what?"_

"_What?"_

"_I'm gay."_

"_Whoa, dude. Seriously?"_

"_Yeah."_

"_That's pretty cool, I guess."_

"_I'm gay for you."_

"_What?"_

"_I think you have an amazing ass."_

"_Jesus Christ, get away from me, you fag!"_

Kyle sighed heavily. It would probably go pretty much like that, which was to be expected. Why would you want to date some skinny Jewish kid when you could be dating a beautiful girl with nice boobs?

At home, Kyle's mom bought his explanations no questions asked, and sent him straight to bed.

"By the way, Kyle, your costume's in your closet!" Sheila called as Kyle closed his bedroom door behind him.

Kyle opened the closet cautiously, and nearly threw up when he saw it. His mom had really gone all out and bought him the most freakishly feminine costume there, even though he specifically told her to get one without sparkles, lace, or in pink. And the monstrosity sitting there was all of those, with a sparkly tiara to match.

"Jesus Christ," Kyle mumbled, shutting the closet swiftly and throwing himself facedown onto his soft bed.

Tomorrow was the big day.

**Author's note: The chapter was short, as the last one was about 1000 words longer. xD This chapter wasn't even supposed to exist, but I couldn't resist putting some Cartman and Butters in the story before the big event. The next chapter is supposed to be the exciting part where all the stuff happens at the dance. That is, if my mind conjures up anything like that. Will Stan break up Kyle and Bebe? What is Stan's costume? Will Cartman get Wendy back together with Stan? Will Kyle confess his feelings to Stan? Those questions shall be answered…eventually. ;**

**Again, I'm going to ask you to review! Reviews make me smug and cause me to smell my farts and like it (south park reference, but you all know that, 'cause you're fans, right?) xD Jumbo bags of candy go out to all my readers and reviewers. You guys are fantastic! 33**


	7. Dance

Kyle didn't go to school the next day, otherwise known as "Doomed Dance Day." His mother let him stay home, but she did look a little surprised. Kyle usually enjoyed going to school, but not for the reasons she thought, which were because he liked to answer worksheets and do projects. No, Kyle went to school without protest because Stan was there, and he got to spend more time with him. How's that for adoration?

However, Kyle couldn't back out of the dance. He was going to, but Bebe called him before he could call her, and she pretty much threatened to slit her wrists if he didn't show up. Not in those words, obviously, but Kyle was pretty good at getting the hint. To his disappointment, Stan hadn't called him at all. They rarely had fights, and when they did, one of them usually called the other before the day was over. Apparently Stan didn't care anymore; Kyle wished he could be that carefree, but he was always the sensitive one.

As 8 o'clock rapidly approached, Kyle grew more and more queasy. He couldn't bear the thought of putting on that extremely girly costume, but he had promised Bebe he would. And besides, he would look really confident if he wore the dress, right? It did take a real man to wear a dress, after all. But did real men wear a tiara in addition to the dress? Kyle thought not.

"God," he murmured when he turned to his clock for the billionth time. It was 6:36, which was just about as close to the devil's number of 666 as you could possibly get. Not that Kyle believed in the devil, being a Jew, but believing in superstitions was okay even if they weren't true, and if they did turn out to be true and you _didn't_ believe, then you were pretty much fucked. So Kyle quickly crossed himself, even though it was a totally Christian thing to do. Whatever.

The door to Kyle's room suddenly swung open, and Ike, dressed all in brown with some weird colorful buttons pinned to his shirt ran in and jumped onto Kyle's bed.

"Kyle!" he cried gleefully, as he began to jump up and down, barely causing a ripple. He was so small and light, it was if someone were bouncing an apple on the bed.

"Hey Ike," Kyle said gloomily, his eyes moving up and down as he watched his little brother jump.

Ike stopped jumping and looked at him. "Kyle gonna be Kyle for pumpkin time?" he asked.

"No, I'm going to be wearing a costume too," Kyle said, before adding, "What are you supposed to be?"

Ike looked at Kyle incredulously, as if the bed had just given birth to him 5 minutes ago.

" I am the gingerbread man, duh!" he explained, sounding normal for the first time in quite a while.

Kyle looked him over again, and could finally see Ike the gingerbread man. The brown clothes, the "candy" buttons on his shirt…it all made sense now. Being a gingerbread man was pretty gay, but not as much as being a princess was. Especially since Kyle was in high school, and Ike was not.

"Oh, that's pretty cool. Mom gonna take you trick or treating?" Kyle asked, smiling as Ike nodded eagerly. He remembered what it was like to be so young and innocent that getting candy would be enough to make you happy.

"Kyle, you gonna go dancing today?" Ike questioned, his head cocked to one side as he waited for Kyle's answer.

"Yeah."

"Is dancing fun, Kyle?

"…I guess…"

"You suck balls at dancing."

"Ike!"

Kyle growled in mock anger after he heard that and began to chase his brother around his room. Ike squealed as he dodged and ducked, pleased that Kyle was paying attention to him. Ike looked up to Kyle as the smartest person in the world, and the coolest too, although he would never tell him that. Because it would be weird. Ike was a smart cookie; it made sense that he was a gingerbread man for Halloween.

Kyle groaned and raised his hands in mock surrender after Ike had head butted him in the stomach.

"Okay, that's enough. I give, I give!"

"One more thing, Kyle?"

"Yeah?"

"Are you going with Stan?"

"…What are you talking about, Ike?"

"Are you going with Stan to your dance?"

"No, why would I—"

"You like him, don't you?"

Kyle felt as if his breath had been vacuumed out of him and he stared, wordless, at Ike. Ike's eyes glittered with knowing, and Kyle was too embarrassed to say anything further; although, in a strange way, he felt relieved to have his feelings confirmed aloud, in public.

"Don't you?" Ike prompted, and then did something Kyle would never forget: he hugged him. And knowing that someone really cared about him, even if that someone was his brother, nearly brought Kyle to tears.

Kyle decided to tell the truth. There was no use lying to his brother. Ike was a genius; he would be able to keep his mouth shut for however long Kyle needed him to.

"Yeah, I do," Kyle confirmed softly, hugging his little brother close. They had never had a conversation like this before, and it felt good.

"You would look cute together. You should go with him," Ike said, and Kyle half-smiled. Ike was still just a kid, and didn't understand that Kyle couldn't just go with Stan because he liked him. Still, that was the second time someone had said that about him and Stan, so it had to mean _something_.

Kyle glanced at his clock again and saw that it read 7:11. He hastily got to his feet. Shit, if he had sat here having this gush fest with Ike much longer, he would be late in picking up Bebe! Ike understood Kyle's sudden hurry, and left the room. Kyle smiled to himself when he heard Ike speak to his mother in his usual baby jargon.

Kyle managed to brush his hair and teeth, take a shower, and deodorize before he had to tackle his final task. Putting on that totally gay costume. He sighed, and took a deep breath. He had to do it quick, like ripping off a band-aid.

Before he knew it, Kyle stared at himself in the mirror: costume, long blonde wig, tiara, and all. He hated to bring himself to think such a thing, but if he were a girl he would have looked almost…pretty.

Brushing these thoughts away, he managed to wrangle his mother away from a Leonardo DiCaprio movie on TV and into their car, where she drove him to Bebe's house.

Bebe was sitting on the curb, and looked up when she sensed the lights flash over her. She stood up and waved, before hurrying into the car. Kyle had seen some sparkly blue tights and a deep blue leotard. She looked pretty hot as a prince; he had to admit that. If only she were a guy named Stan!

She slid into the backseat along him, and pecked him on the cheek. Kyle blushed as the car pulled away from the curb, hoping his mom had been too busy keeping her eyes on the road to notice. But no, his mom winked at him in the mirror, and Kyle sighed.

"Kyle, you make such an awesome princess," Bebe complimented him, making Kyle blush even more.

"Thanks, I guess," he smiled bashfully, "You make a pretty fine Prince yourself!" Bebe giggled and Kyle knew that he had done well in his new role of boyfriend, but he still wished that he were at Stan's house watching old horror films and eating popcorn like they had last Halloween.

When they entered the school, Kyle was pretty impressed. Black and orange streamers hung from lockers, and arrows pointed towards the gym where the dance was being held.

"Oh!" Bebe declared suddenly, turning to Kyle with a worried frown. "I forgot my crown in my locker!"

"I could come with you to get it," Kyle offered, but Bebe shook her head. It was weird not to see curls fly around her face when she did that, as her hair was pinned up in a short boy style.

"That's okay, Kyle. You don't have to come with me everywhere, you know," Bebe replied, before pecking him on the mouth and telling him to go to the gym and find her there later.

Kyle stared dumbfounded after her. That was his second kiss ever, and Bebe had also given him his first kiss all those years ago. Maybe they were destined to be together.

Kyle made his way to the gym and entered slowly, not knowing what to expect. When he looked up, he saw many couples and groups of friends laughing and dancing, with strobe lights flashing around the gym. A buffet with Halloween themed food was to his left, and some tables for tired kids to sit were to his right. And smack in front of him was Kenny, with a gaggle of girls dancing around him.

Kenny was dressed in a furry purple trench coat, and was wearing gold chains and big white sunglasses with crystals on them. Not to mention the velvet fedora on his head and the cane in his hand. It was obvious to anyone that Kenny was a pimp, and it suited him so perfectly that Kyle grinned.

"H-Hey, is that you, Kyle?" Came a curious voice to his left, and Kyle turned around to see Butters dressed as Osama Bin laden staring at him in awe.

Kyle smiled and shrugged. "I guess, unless I have a female twin. Why are you dressed as Bin Laden?" He asked. Butters usually dressed as an animal or something totally lame like that.

"Because Eric told me to," Butters said rather mournfully, adjusting the turban on his head as it slipped down and covered his right eye.

Kyle sighed. Now it was obvious.

"Where is that retarded lard butt anyway?" Kyle asked, just as Cartman himself came into view.

"Why, I can't believe my eyes!" Cartman exclaimed, ignoring Kyle's jab. He rubbed his eyes dramatically, blinking heavily several times.

"Cartman, just shut up," Kyle warned, not in the mood to be harassed by a fatso dressed like Adolf Hitler. Cartman had worn that costume so many years in a row; he might as well have worn the costume every day.

"Why, some fine young lady that I have never seen before has magically appeared before me!" Cartman smiled, stroking the little mustache he had attached to his upper lip.

Kyle growled warningly, but Cartman blazed on.

"Actually, you _do_ bear an uncanny resemblance to this messed up Jew I know. It's really weird," Cartman said innocently. Kyle gritted his teeth and counted backwards from 10 in his head. Bebe would be there soon and he could ditch the jackass.

"E-Eric, that's Kyle!" Butters announced, seemingly stunned that Cartman hadn't caught onto this sooner. Kyle smiled as Cartman turned to glare at Butters. His fun was over.

Cartman was about to start verbally abusing Butters, and Kyle was about to leave in search of Bebe, when a glitter of blue caught his eye. He looked at the source, and saw that Bebe had rushed right passed him.

"Hey, Bebe!" Kyle called, waving to her. It would totally piss Cartman off to see Kyle with the girl that he felt something for. To his shock, Bebe didn't turn around. Did she not hear him? Kyle called again, louder this time, and Bebe turned to look at him.

'Fuck you' she mouthed, and Kyle saw that her face was stained with tears. Kyle dropped the hand that he had waved at her with. What the hell was the matter with her?

"Fuck, dude. That bitch really hates you," Cartman commented, looking smug but also a little incredulous as if he himself could not believe what he had just seen.

Kenny had somehow left his girl orgy and had appeared before Kyle, and eyed Cartman with a strangely satisfied look before directing his words at Kyle.

"Kyle, you'll never believe what I found out—"

But Kyle, feeling utterly bewildered and slightly panicked, pushed past him and left the gym. He wandered through the empty halls, and methodically tried opening all the doors but they were locked. The door at the end of the hall swung open, however, and Kyle found himself in the janitor's closet. He closed the door behind him and moved some buckets aside, before sitting down and burying his face in his hands. Halloween night wasn't going well.

A minute or maybe even an hour later, Kyle didn't know as he had lost track of time, the door opened slowly, and someone crept in. Kyle stiffened. God, if some lovey dovey bitch and her boyfriend had come in there to—

"Wendy?" A familiar voice came, interrupting his thoughts. Kyle stopped breathing. Stan was there. Apparently, he had gotten Wendy to break up with Craig and go to the dance with him, and now they were going to make out right in front of him. Kyle resisted the urge to wail; that wouldn't be good.

He let out a squeak as Stan settled in front of him and touched his arm. He and Stan had never made up after their fight, and maybe Stan was going to kill him now so they would never be able to.

"I missed you," Stan whispered tenderly, and right there in that stuffy, dark janitor's closet, Stan pulled Kyle close to him, closed his eyes, and kissed him full on the mouth.

Kyle was going to protest, but Stan was such a good kisser that he couldn't bear the thought of him stopping, so he followed his lead. This was nothing like kissing Bebe; it was so much more.

The sounds of the two of them making out filled the closet, and Kyle felt numb from happiness. Sure, Stan thought he was Wendy, but that didn't matter. He was holding him, and Kyle never wanted to leave.

Stan pulled away, panting slightly after their feverish kissing. Kyle didn't dare to speak: he may have looked like Wendy in that shadowy closet, but he sure as hell didn't sound like her.

"That was the best," Stan whispered blissfully, "It was even better than in elementary school."

Just as Stan's mouth made contact with Kyle's again, the door swung wide open and the light of the hall illuminated the closet. Kyle was facing the door, so he opened his eyes when he felt the light shine on them, and was horrified to see Wendy standing there, her mouth hanging open. She was wearing the same costume that he was, Kyle noted in his petrified state.

Betrayed. Confused. Horrified.

These emotions flickered across her face one by one, and quickly disappeared, being replaced by a blank expression.

"Fuck you, Stan. You're an asshole," She spat, spinning on her heel and running away.

Stan yanked his hands off Kyle's shoulders, and he opened his eyes slowly. He stared stunned at the "girl" he had been kissing with such emotion.

"Kyle?" He whispered, his eyes wide.

Kyle scrambled to his feet and looked right back at him.

"It's me."

"I thought…"

"I know. I'm sorry, Stan."

Kyle couldn't bear to be in that room anymore, it felt as if the walls were closing in on him. He slipped past Stan, and jerked away when Stan tried to grab his arm. He then ran out, his dress flying out behind him much like Wendy's had a moment earlier. He wanted to run forever.

That's what you get when you let your heart win, whoa.  
That's what you get when you let your heart win, whoa.  
I drowned out all my sense with the sound of its beating.  
And that's what you get when you let your heart win, whoa.


	8. Surprises

Wendy ran from what she had just seen, her heart throbbing painfully in her chest. She wasn't crying, however; Wendy hadn't let herself cry ever since she was a young girl. She was a perfectionist, and crying just wouldn't do. All the tears, the red nose…those things would mar her reputation as cool, calm and intelligent.

Stan, making out with some other girl; a pretty girl, who was wearing the exact same costume she was. Was life playing a cruel joke on her? She had thought that, against all odds, Stan had actually wanted to get back together with her. But she was horrifically wrong.

Wendy slowed and entered the girls' washroom. She braced herself, expecting there to be a group of girls at the mirror checking their makeup and fixing their hair, but no one was in there. She stood in front of the mirror, and looked at herself. Good: no tears, or sign of tears. She looked just as she always did, elegant and pretty. Only someone who really knew her could see the tiny spark of hurt in her eyes, and the way the corners of her mouth trembled slightly. But no one knew her. Wendy hadn't let anyone in after she had broken up with Stan.

Just thinking about him made a lump form in her throat, and she swallowed fiercely. She was not going to break down. Not for a guy. But Stan was her first and possibly only love. Sure, she had really liked Token, and now that she was dating Craig, she thought he was pretty cool. But Stan had been her first love, her first kiss, the first time someone had puked on her; she smiled inwardly at the memory of Stan puking on her every time she had spoken to him back in their early days as a couple.

She slid down against the wall, and ended up sitting on the floor. She didn't care if it was dirty; she was just wearing a costume, after all. She froze, when she heard the patter of feet run by the washroom, and caught a glimpse of a pink dress. It had to be that girl that Stan had been making out with. That bitch, she had Stan wrapped around her finger, what was she running away for? Did she feel guilty after seeing Wendy? Did she think that Wendy was Stan's current girlfriend and he was cheating on her? If so, good.

Wendy hugged her knees to her chest and sighed. "Stan, I only broke up with you back in elementary because…" She paused, and looked at her nails. They were painted black, for Halloween, sure, but also because it was high fashion. Wendy wanted to design haute couture for men, and Stan was supposed to have been her model. That was on the side of her becoming president, of course.

"…Because Cartman told me you were gay." After she had spoken that aloud, a feeling she knew all too well washed over her. Depression.

**x flashback x**

_"Ay! Wendy! I need to tell you something."_

_"What, Cartman?"_

_" I don't have to tell you, you know. It might make you kick me squah in the nuts."_

_"I won't. Tell me!"_

_"It's about Stan."_

_"What? Doesn't he like me anymore?_

_"Well, kinda."_

_"This is all Bebe's fault, isn't it? I'm going to kill her!"_

_"Nah, it isn't that bitch's fault."_

_"Then tell me or I'll...I'll... kill Clyde frog!"_

_"Ay! Don't threaten Clyde Frog, you dumb—"_

_"Cartman!"_

_"Fine. Your little boy toy Stan is gay, okay?"_

_"What?"_

_"Gay, a fag, you name it. I saw him hugging Kyle."_

_"So, that doesn't mean..."_

_"He kissed Kyle. Not in truth or dare, either."_

_"But—"_

_"Wendy, you have been hogging Stan all to yourself, and he likes you too much—as a friend—that he had to date Kyle in secret so he wouldn't make you mad."_

_"But—"_

"_Jesus, Wendy! How do you think Kyle feels? His parents will kill him if they find out he's homo. Stan is the only guy who knows his secret, and that's why he's the only guy Kyle can date. Get it?"_

"…_I get it."_

"_You better break up with Stan then. It's better that way, huh?"_

"_I didn't know. I've been holding him back all this time from Kyle."_

"_Yeah, you sure have. So what are you gonna do about it?"_

"_Break up with him."_

"_I always knew you were smart, Wendy."_

And that was when she had told Bebe to tell Stan that she had broken up with him. Feeling so hurt, she had immediately rebounded and began dating Token, to get her mind off of him. But it didn't work. And for some reason, Stan had tried to take her back for a while, but she wouldn't get back together. She had known the truth: that he was in love with Kyle secretly. But now, after all these years, she had seen Stan making out with a girl. Did that mean that Cartman had lied to her, and she had broken up with him for _nothing_?

That must have been the case, as Stan wouldn't have posted a note on her locker saying that he wanted to meet her in the janitor's closet and talk otherwise. She had never really hated Cartman until that moment, but now she did. Immensely.

"Wendy, are you in there?" Came a voice from outside the girls' washroom. Momentarily, Wendy thought it was Stan, but no. It was Craig. She should've been happy, as he was her boyfriend, but Stan was always first in her heart. She had to get over him. It was totally fucked up of him to post that promising note on her locker, and then when she showed up, tear her heart to pieces by making out in front of her with some strange chick. Cartman, Stan—men were all the same. She might as well be happy with Craig. He was probably the best she was going to get.

"Coming, Craig!" she called, forcing herself to inject enthusiasm in her voice. And off they went, back to the gym to dance.

Stan sat shell shocked in the janitor's closet. His mind was reeling from what had just taken place. He had told Cartman that he had written a note on Bebe's locker that said "Bebe, you are a giant cow and I don't like you anymore," and signed Kyle's name on it. He almost didn't post it, but thinking of Wendy and feeling pretty certain that Kyle would forgive him gave him the courage to do it. Cartman had been pleased with that, and said that Kyle had already fled after seeing how angry Bebe was with him. Cartman then told Stan that he would get him and Wendy together after school tomorrow, and Stan couldn't wait. He had then gone to his locker to change out of his crap Prince outfit and go home, when he saw a note on his locker that read "Meet me in the janitor's closet," and Wendy had signed her name. He had been so thrilled that he hadn't stopped to think about what Cartman had said about getting them together _tomorrow_, and had rushed to the closet to see Wendy and reminisce about old times.

Stan winced thinking about it now. He had been so selfish. He shouldn't have followed that ass hole Cartman's plan and broken up Kyle and Bebe. He should've just gotten Wendy back the hard way. But no, he was willing to be stupid and risk everything for a girl who didn't seem to care about him. And what did he get for rushing so blindly into love? He kissed Kyle and definitely turned Wendy off. Forever.

Stan's cheeks burned at the memory of kissing Kyle. He had thought Kyle was Wendy. Anyone could have made that mistake: it was so dark in the closet, and Kyle had been wearing the same costume as Wendy without Stan's knowledge. Stan had dressed up like a prince because Cartman had told him Wendy would be a princess and they would match, but it turned out Stan matched _Kyle_ as well.

As Stan kept thinking about kissing Kyle, a weird thing happened: he felt a warm whoosh of pleasure fill his belly. He bit his lip and shook his head, but to no avail. Thinking about Kyle and his lips made his head feel as if it were full of cotton. As Stan unconsciously touched his mouth with his right hand, he realized something. It was very clear to him that thinking about Kyle was making him feel the opposite of disgusted. In fact, it made him feel rather…turned on.

"What the hell's going on?" Stan wondered aloud, and he thought about kissing some more. But this time, he didn't think of Wendy's pretty mouth and soft kisses. This time he thought about the passion with which Kyle had kissed him, and he liked it.

Just then, Kenny wandered into the closet, in full pimp attire, and seemed unsurprised to find Stan there, practically making out with his hand to get rid of his horniness. He knelt down next to Stan and patted his shoulder.

"What's up, dude?"

"Something totally insane happened."

"You kissed Kyle."

Stan looked at him, surprised. Kenny had said it more like a statement than a question, but how had he known?

Kenny snickered with amusement at the confusion on Stan's face.

"I know a lot of things."

"Oh."

"Stan, let me ask you something. You still trying to bang that chick Wendy?"

"Yeah. I mean… no. I don't know!"

"Stan, listen to me and listen good. You are in love with Kyle."

"Kenny!"

Kenny sighed and rolled his eyes at Stan's skeptical response. Being someone's shrink was going to be a lot harder than he expected. Why was he doing this, anyway? He had a whole crowd of girls waiting to tear his clothes off back at the dance.

"Stan, think about it. How did you feel after Wendy broke up with you?"

"Bad."

"Yeah. And who made you feel better?"

"Butters."

"After Butters."

"…Kyle."

"Who do you always go to for help?"

"Kyle."

"Whom do you celebrate those "couple" holidays like Christmas with?"

"My family."

"And?"

"Kyle, I guess."

"Exactly."

"So, we're friends. Friends do that kinda stuff."

"Final question, Stan. Ready?"

"Okay."

"If you had choose someone to die, either Kyle or Wendy, who would it be?"

"Dude!"

"Pick one."

Stan paused, and Kenny watched him knowingly. Shit, Kenny was good at this. He should be a cop or something. He debated in his mind, and thought about it. If Wendy was gone, he would be very upset, sure. But then he wouldn't have to obsess over her as much. If Kyle were gone, then…Stan blinked once. Thinking about his best friend being gone felt much more painful than his supposed love being gone. Weird.

"I guess…Wendy."

"See what I mean?"

"So, I'm gay."

"Maybe. Maybe not. Most people are attracted to both sexes, and I've been your friend long enough to know that you practically get a boner if Kyle so much as brushes past you."

"I do not! Jesus, Kenny."

"Who's the better kisser? Out of curiosity."

Stan squirmed anxiously, feeling strange and also free at his newfound realization that he did indeed like Kyle. It was weird but thinking about being with Kyle like _that _made him feel more and more anxious to see his best friend (new lover?) again.

"Kyle. Definitely."

And with that, Kenny gave Stan a final whack of good luck on the back, and sauntered away to the party, knowing he had done well. He had finally gotten those two together and they should have to repay him soon enough. But for now, he was going to heal the hearts of Ms. Great Tits Stevens and Ms. Hot Ass Testaburger. Well, if he could break her and Craig the fag up. But that would be easy enough. He was dressed as a pimp, for God's sake!

**Author's note: Ohemgee! The story is almost done. Next chapter and it's finished, I believe. ;( I'm gonna miss writing this story..it was the best week and a half of my life (In writing, anyways). Comment, let me know what you think! Also, do you think I should change it from Comedy/Romance to Romance/Drama? I don't see the comedy in like..the last 5 chapters. xD Lurve you all!**


	9. Swings

Kyle stumbled down the street, trying to get as far away from the school and Stan as he possibly could. It was only 9 something, and he didn't feel like going home just yet. He didn't want his mother to pester him with questions about why he was home early. What would he tell her? That Bebe hated him suddenly, that he had kissed Stan? He sure as hell didn't have a good time.

Kyle slowed, fighting the tears that threaten to escape from his eyes. He had forced himself to be rational about liking Stan, but remembering the shock in Stan's eyes strangled his heart. Stan would probably be scarred for life—who wouldn't after having someone who you thought was best friend _kiss_ you?

Stubbornly, he blinked and breathed deeply, and his seemingly unpreventable sobs subsided. He looked up to see that he was at South Park Elementary. It was only a fifteen-minute walk from the high school, and he was unexpectedly glad to see it. Back in elementary, he had actually been happy. His hormones weren't raging uncontrollably, and his feelings for Stan weren't as strong as they were now. Although they had been there, just hanging out with Stan satisfied Kyle. But as he grew older, he had wanted so much more. He had grown selfish; and look where it had got him. Sitting alone on a swing on Halloween night, dressed up like a motherfucking princess.

Kyle let out a bitter laugh as a group of kids and their parents walked by the playground, and seeing him, they sped up and were soon out of sight. They probably thought that he was some weird pedophile, even if he was really only a kid himself.

Kyle pushed his feet off the ground, and he began to swing. He went higher and higher, until he was almost convinced that he would soon swing around the part where the chains attached to the bar above his head.

As he swung, he wondered what would happen between him and Stan. They would probably never speak again, and Kyle would have to move away. He shuddered when he thought about telling his parents that he wanted to move back to San Francisco, but if Stan didn't want him around, Kyle would just have to buck up and accept that. He knew running away wasn't really an answer, but his feelings were so mixed up that he didn't know what, if anything, was sane in his life anymore.

Kyle heard the sound of footsteps running past the playground, and he didn't bother turning around. Probably some kids whose lives hadn't been totally screwed up by them kissing their best friends. Maybe it was a psycho with a crowbar who was going to bash Kyle's brains out. Kyle didn't really care at this point, he would just let fate take its course, whatever happened.

The footsteps faltered, then came to a halt. Kyle stopped pumping his legs, and the swing slowed to a complete stop. The sound of feet hitting the earth came closer and closer, and Kyle turned around.

His voice caught in his throat when he saw the one person he never thought it would be standing there: Stan. He was still decked out in his green and gold prince outfit, but the crown on his head on his head was missing and his chest was heaving up and down. Stan was an excellent athlete, so it must have taken him only 5 minutes to get to the elementary school. But why was he there, anyway?

"Hey Kyle," said Stan, shifting from foot to foot a little nervously. He gestured to the swing next to Kyle. "Mind if I join you?"

"Nah," Kyle said, glancing sideways at Stan and smiling a bit as the swing creaked under its newfound weight. Stan turned to look at him.

"What are you doing here?"

"I'm on a swing, guess that means I'm swinging."

"Oh."

"Yeah."

An awkward silence ensued, which was unusual. The two of them had never run out of things to talk about when they got together, but tonight they were tongue-tied. It wasn't a usual night, so Kyle thought it was to be expected.

"I can swing higher than you," Stan blurted out suddenly, and without waiting for Kyle's response, he began to swing. Kyle, always up for a challenge, began to swing as well, and the night was still except for the swishing of air as the pair went higher and higher. Just when Kyle thought his legs would fall off if he swung anymore, Stan slowed and stopped, breathing noisily.

Kyle slowed right after him, and smiled mischievously when he had planted his feet firmly on the ground.

"Guess I won, huh? Who's better at sports now?"

"Swinging isn't a sport, idiot."

"In my world it is."

Stan turned looked at Kyle intently, and Kyle forced himself not to look away and held Stan's gaze. His eyes were amazing, liquid pools of every hue of blue mixed together to create something more brilliant than the sky on a sunny summer's day. His charcoal hair was slightly matted to his forehead after the exertion of swinging, and his cheeks were flushed pink, whether from exhaustion, the cold, or something else. All in all, Kyle had never thought Stan to be more handsome than he was at that moment, and he resisted the urge to kiss him. Again.

"About the janitor's closet," Stan declared softly, looking somewhere past Kyle's left ear, "that was…"

Kyle jumped up from the swing, his knees weak. He didn't want to hear it, he didn't want his world to come crashing down with Stan's polite rejection of Kyle's friendship.

"I already said I was sorry," Kyle whispered, his voice catching in his throat. His heart jolted when he felt Stan get up and stand right beside him. Kyle could feel Stan breathing in his ear, which tickled, but in a very pleasant way. God, what the hell was he doing _now_?

Stan placed his hands on Kyle's hips, and pulled Kyle closer to him, smiling at the endearing expression of puzzlement on his face. Kyle's bright green eyes, his bright copper curls, his full mouth: Stan had always harbored the thought in his heart, but now it revealed itself.

"Kyle, you don't need to be sorry, when you're as cute as you are," Stan told him simply, bringing his face nearer to Kyle's.

Kyle's heart was beating rapidly in his chest, but he boldly wrapped his own hands around Stan's waist. He had no fucking clue what was going on, but he saw the same expression in Stan's eyes that he had often felt in his own: lust, desire, and maybe…love?

"You're pretty hot yourself," Kyle grinned, and felt a shiver run up and down his spine when Stan gently removed his hands from Kyle's hips and held Kyle's face in his hands.

"It took me way too long to tell you this, but—" Stan's voice broke a little with emotion as he spoke to Kyle, and Kyle's heart flooded with warmth. Poor Stan, he was so shy whenever romance came into play. And that just made Kyle like him even more.

"But?" Kyle questioned, half expecting Stan to yell "Just kidding!" and run away laughing to join Cartman who was hiding somewhere in the bushes videotaping all of this.

"I love you," Stan finished, tenderly pressing his lips to Kyle's before he had a chance to reply.

Kyle had dreamt of this moment for so long, and now his dreams had become a reality. After years of waiting, after keeping so many things to himself, Stan had finally realized that Wendy wasn't whom his heart belonged to.

The two of them stayed like that for a while, lips moving in sync, hearts beating together. Stan wondered how he had actually thought that Wendy's kisses were passionate compared to Kyle's; hers had lacked so much feeling. Stan regretted all those years he had wasted pining after Wendy, a girl that he didn't really love after all. He swore to himself, that from now on, he would never let Kyle down again.

Kyle finally pulled away, and Stan wanted to kiss him again. And again, and again. Kyle, sensing Stan's horniness, smiled giddily. Stan was finally on the same page he was.

"Stan, why'd Bebe suddenly hate me so much at the dance?" Kyle asked, having a strange feeling that Stan had something to do with it.

Stan looked uncomfortable, before looking pleadingly at Kyle.

"I wrote her a note that said she was a cow. And signed your name."

"…Oh."

"Cartman said he'd get Wendy and me together if I broke you guys up."

"_Stan_."

Stan heard the disapproval in Kyle's voice, and sighed sadly. He had screwed things up, just when they had begun to be perfect again.

Kyle saw the worry on Stan's face, and took hold of his hand. Stan looked at him, and broke into a smile when he saw forgiveness in Kyle's eyes.

"It's okay, Stan. I'll apologize to Bebe tomo—"

"No, I'll do it. I should, 'cause it wasn't your fault."

"Okay. Stan?"

"Yeah?"

"Wendy looked really mad when she saw us together."

"She did?"

"I think she still likes you."

"She should've done something about it earlier, I did wait for her all those years."

"Stan, if you want, you could get back together with her."

"I don't want to, not when I'm already with the person I was destined for."

Kyle blushed at this, and Stan squeezed his hand comfortingly. Kyle led Stan back to the swings, and they sat together, connected by their linked hands.

"Stan?"

"Mm?"

"I love you too. I've loved you for a while now."

" I know."

And with that, they turned to each other and kissed, knowing that they had many more blissful memories ahead of them. Even if Cartman mocked them, even if Bebe and Wendy still hated them, they would always have each other.

And Kenny. Kenny was pretty cool, too.

Fin 


End file.
